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IT’S NOT ME, I SWEAR.
Helen of Troy (via historysaidwhat)
Let me tell you something about Eris, the Goddess of Discord. She and Thetis were best friends in middle school. I know, right? It’s so embarrassing. I don’t even…whatever. So then, Thetis got engaged to her boyfriend, Peleus, who was totally gorgeous but then it turned it out he was mortal, and Eris was like, weirdly jealous of him. So then, for Thetis’ wedding, which was on Mount Olympus, she was like, “Eris, I can’t invite you, because I think you represent strife and discord.” I mean, she couldn’t have a Goddess of Discord at her wedding. There were going to be important gods and goddesses there! I mean, right? She was a GODDESS OF DISCORD. So then Eris threw this golden apple into the crowd and Athena, Aphrodite, and Hera started yelling at each other. And then she left the wedding because no one would talk to her, and when she came back to Mount Olypmus, all of her hair was cut off and she was totally weird, and now I guess she’s on crack and partially responsible for starting the Trojan War.